It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
