he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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