chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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