so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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