3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
wakey wakey hands off snakey
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
