3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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