Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.

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(315): View more from New York

Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..

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(985): View more from Louisiana

shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago

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(630): View more from Illinois

Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?

(1-630): View more from Illinois

Are you high?

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(216): View more from Ohio

there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.

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(518): View more from New York

Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.

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