I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
