Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
This gyro tastes like lonliness
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
