i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
