I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
