he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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