I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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