When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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