hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
