No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
