nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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