I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
