youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
