just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize