You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
