My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
