Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
