How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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