just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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