Whoa Z and x make the same sound
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
