the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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