dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I came so hard my ears popped.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
