I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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