Whod you bang
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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