smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
