I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize