So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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