Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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