just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
