careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
