he wants to bone in the snuggie
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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