everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I am naked and annoyed.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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