is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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