I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize