You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
