Me too!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
