Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
