now i know why i became what i already was.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
