his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
