Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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