Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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