sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
