He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
