Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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