So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
