so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
