you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
