Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
