therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
