Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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