thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
