is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
