Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I wish you could order shots online.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
