New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
